A couple of weeks ago, I got a knock on my door. It was my upstairs neighbor, a very sweet girl all of 23 years old (I'm guessing). Like many of the people in my building, probably a Pratt student. She so kindly and politely asked if I could open a window when I smoke, as she has a really hard time stomaching the excess smell that drifts up through the floorboards. She really couldn't have been nicer or more diplomatic about the whole thing. She even apologized for being a hassle and mentioned how she totally understands my right to smoke in my own house.
I was so absolutely ASHAMED I literally shrank behind my door, profusely apologizing. I was so caught off guard, I didn't know what to say. I did, however feel as though I had (finally?) made the transformation into Jerri Blank from Strangers with Candy. The pure, fresh faced high school girl confronts the haggard old woman about smoking. Sigh.
So, obviously, now I smoke with the window wide open, even though it is below freezing. A few days later, I went upstairs to see if she had noticed any change. When she opened the door, a look of utter fear came across her face. I think she was totally expecting me to sound off about my right to smoke or something. But when she realized I was trying to help, she showed me around her place and where the smoke was most concentrated (right above my easel. Ulp.) She also mentioned how she was so glad we were understanding as they have had outright wars with other neighbors about noise, etc. We had a great chat, and I left feeling as though I could figure out a way to make us both satisfied.
A few hours later, a knock came at my door again. It was her and her boyfriend (who also lives up there) with a bottle of wine for us. They actually gave us a bottle of wine for being "so cool about the whole thing". Which is wonderful - these guys are really great people. But I can't help but wonder what kind of world this is where the offender gets a reward. Where someone is so expected to be an asshole, that when basic compromise is shown, it needs to be acknowledged with a prize. I remember the days when I would be the one bringing them the bottle of wine for being a haggard joker. Which, of course, I immediately thought of doing. But when I sit by my window freezing in my own house to smoke a cig, I think that is reward enough. |